Re-Start

i should really be blogging again, shouldn’t i?

I mean, it’s free, isn’t it!

Probably should, and hopefully would.

Danial. al-Fatihah.

i had a long day. it’s Saturday night and it’s raining. a lovely atmosphere for winding down. a mug of tok’s homemade coffee would’ve made it all perfect.

or so i thought. until i got a text from one of my dearest, dearest friend.

“…danial da xde. Mgrib td da kemb ke rhmtulh..”

how are things supposed to be perfect when you got that. just a week after hari raya. just a month before she’s due with her second baby.

nevermind my feelings. how is SHE feeling right now…

here comes a very interesting part. i spent my morning at a collague’s house, just the next street from my Minmin’s house. i was meant to visit Minmin. it’s raya, haven’t met them for ages, i missed her and everything.

but had to leave for somewhere else. but it’s ok, i still left my car there. so i got back there. perfect. only that, i had to leave as i had to reach my next destination by 6.30. an hour before Danial left. left us forever.

i don’t know. i can’t even imagine. rumah Minmin belakang tu je. memang i dah niat nak pegi pun. can’t blame my so-called packed schedule can i.

it’s raya time. one month to go before the second baby comes around. and everything else. how would Minmin feel. ya Allah… please, please grant her all the strengths in the world she needs it more than i do…

i don’t want to talk about Danial too much. it will break her heart big time if Minmin reads it. just so you know, he was a gorgeous kid. an angel.

Danial, aunty indy minta maaf. aunty indy memang nak tengok Danial tadi. esok, aunty indy janji datang ok sayang. Min, be strong. i wish i was there with you. how i wish i actually called you earlier. Min i’m sorry. i’m so, sorry.

No duit raya for Danial. only a bunch of al-Fatihah…

p.s.: angels always and only go to heaven.

one way or another

sometimes, what works for other people might not work for us. and vice versa. in looking for what’s best for us, it requires us to take chances.

take chances. failures only mean we learn something new, and failures open a room for us to get better and even better.

i tried some ways. and they didn’t work. now is time to try another, and see if we fit. if we don’t, i’ll keep on walking and searching. “if you haven’t found what you’re looking for, keep looking,” Steve Jobs once said. who does not believe in Steve Jobs.

p.s.: hello, world.

clean that cavity

i hate it if i have to “work with you so i can maintain my position”. i hate if it i have to be around you for a reason. i didn’t know i’m really this sensitive. but well. i guess i served my purpose, and now i’m off. no more roller coaster days after this, so i hope you’ll be at peace.

the thing is, when i know i have to serve a purpose, i get too obliged. like i’m carrying some responsibilities. to get you from a point to another. i will try to do just that. and because it means business, i get serious. not expecting perfection, but i’m expecting effort. effort for improvement. fine if you’re not perfect.

when you’re expected to steer the car, what else do you do. you steer. you don’t take the backseat. only, i’m a rough driver. i go off the beaten path. rougher roads, longer journey. but the scenery is always better. always, always.

well i really hope i have served my purpose. like, you’re really at point B from point A where you used to be. i hope you’re at point B now. i really do. don’t ask me where you’re at. you know where you’re at.

wow. i really didn’t know i can really be this sensitive. i really didn’t know.

but well. maybe i misunderstood after all. but next time i will be careful. careful not to say something like “i want to work with you to maintain my interest”. that could hurt the other party, especially if he/she is equally sensitive as myself. and that, gives the other party some kind of power, which when exercised, i will feel more hurt. it backfires.

oh and one more thing. i’m not that good anyways so no point counting on me.

p.s.: when i serve my purpose, i’m happy.

 

Our Wedding Doorgitfts

our wedding doorgift. inspired by a a friend of my mum’s, as a doorgift for majlis cukur jambul for her grand daughter. they put telur rebus inside. we found good quality face towels, fluffy enough to pamper our guests’ pretty faces, and thick enough to fit into those glasses.

the initial plan was to have pink towels for all glasses, but the shop did not have enough stocks in hand at that time, so we just took whatever that’s there, and i guess i like the colorful effect better

cost? RM0.89 each for the Almhult ceramic mugs from Ikea. i don’t remember the price of the towel, but i could say all in all it came down less than RM3.

but it did come with a little backache from transporting the glasses nevertheless, this idea inspired a couple of my mum’s friends, for their children’s wedding

a closer look at the thank you card cum 2010 calendar. inspired by Ax Rafar.

oh just a little tip, if you’re buying the Almhult mugs in bulk, try to come on weekdays, as there aren’t too many people, and the floor staffs may be available to help you. those security guards at the loading bay are very helpful, they’ll help you load the mugs. don’t do it yourself especially if you’re the bride-to-be!

Photography by Natasha Azim (top photo) and Aida Rihayu Osman (bottom photo).